Why I want to kill my lawnmower.

Yes, I just want it to die. My old mower is just like that guy in "Blood Simple" who just keeps moving around in the grave and no amount of mayhem will do it in.

First a little background. My wife and I got married in 1982 and bought our first house at the same time. Well, we needed a mower so we went to Sears to buy one. Not having much money, we settled on the cheapest mower that Sears had at the time. It happened to be the year that they started to put those safety lever on the handles of mowers so that you could not leave the mower without the engine cutting off. Man, I just hated that. Apparently, the premise being that we are just too stupid to step away from the mower to pick up a stick or dog toy without somehow cutting a few toes off. Heck, I have been knows to leave the mower running while I go inside to have lunch. Just ask one of my neighbors about this. So somebody in our government dictated this new safety device to help protect us all from ourselves. However it was just my luck that the cheap mower that we bought was left over from the last year and did not have this annoying safety device. Tea parties hell! Every time I step away from my running mower to go inside to use the bathroom, I feel like I am "sticking it to the Man." That and the fact that it was the only mower there for under $100 made the decision easy for me. The engine was white and the housing blue. Not much else to it.

As mowers go, it was pretty basic for even way back in the 1980s. It was all metal, (see if you can find that now) and had four hard plastic wheels. The engine was your basic stripped down 3.5 HP version with no bells and whistles. And it has always worked just fine. At first, being young and naive, I was pretty diligent about changing the oil once a year and keeping the air filter clean. I also sharpened the blade once in a while. As time went by, the oil changes became less frequent. Now, 28 years later, I have not changed the oil or looked at the air filter in over a decade. The spark plug is the original and I have never removed it for cleaning.

No need to do all this really. The mower was getting old and my wife started making noises about replacing the mower with something more environmentally friendly around 1995. Apparently, a mower built 25 years ago is a bad thing for the environment. Studies show that one old lawnmower puts more toxic waste in the air in one afternoon than than your average rust belt factory will in a year. (Seriously, look it up. It's on the net.) The deal was that I would just run it into the ground and we would then get something with a 200 foot long extension cord or that ran off of clean burning cow pies to satisfy my wife.

The problem is the damn thing won't die. It has been 28 years (about 240 years in lawnmower time) and the thing still works just fine. About five or six years ago a crack appeared on the metal housing and is slowly working its way towards the motor mount. Who knows if this will kill the mower or not. It certainly vibrates a little more these days but still cuts the grass.

This spring after a winter of neglect, (Yes, you are correct, I never drain the gas tank like you are supposed to do over the winter.) I pulled the old girl out to the driveway for a test fire up. Seriously this mower makes more noise rattling and vibrating as you pull it over the ground than when the motor is actually running. Well, the motor fired up on the first pull. No lie! My wife was in the yard with me and without a single glance towards her, I could sense the look of disgust she was making behind me. I could not help just backing away into the cloud of blue smoke and admiring the old thing for it's sheer willpower. Because, any more than a dozen pulls of the cord and it off to the junkyard. There she was, roaring like a young tiger cub and shaking like a threshing machine. Then I cut the grass.

So there you have it. Every once in a while I go to Sears and look over the new mowers. They are all bright and pretty. The seem to have a lot of plastic in them. That really makes me wonder how they work without melting. Supposedly they are more efficient. Some are self propelled and have big wheels on the back. some have grass catchers and bear the promise to not just cut your grass but mulch it as well. There are a lot of weird safety devices on mowers these days. I wonder if I do buy one if I can duct tape that safety lever so that it is always closed and the motor will still run if I step away from the mower. One thing I do know. If I do buy a new mower, it will undeniably just like every other piece of crap that I buy these days beak real soon and have to be tossed out because the cost of fixing it will be more than replacing it. Now I know that I am really sounding like an old man here but it is true. Perhaps my desire to kill my mower stems form the knowledge that I won't ever see the likes of this mower again, and I just can't stand the thought.

I have beat the heck out of this old mower for almost three decades and never had to spend an hour and a half talking to some call service center in India about getting it fixed or replaced or reprogrammed. Never had to box it up to send back for repairs or because it turned out to be incompatible with the type of grass I am cutting. So I guess I am trying to kill it because it reminds me too much of what a product is supposed to be, reliable, simple and long lasting.........and I can't stand the thought that when it is gone I will have lost another grip on the the way consumer products use to be and never will be again.

Ending Gridlock in Montgomery County

I went to my neighborhood association meeting this week and heard what I think it the most intelligent (and only) solution to our traffic woes in Montgomery County. Sponsored by Councilmember Marc Elrich, the proposal is a bus rapid transit system along all major roads in the county. It is not your daddy's bus line but a new sophisticated high speed bus system along contained routes. The good news is the buses are running in their own designated lanes and not interfering with the flow of traffic-a serious issue today. The even better news is the system takes advantage of existing routes and right of ways and is dirt cheap to install compared to other suggested solutions such as subways and light rail. This type of system is already in place in a few major cities in the US and Europe and has a proven track record for efficiency and reducing traffic.

Another major factor is that this system, with the correct political support can be up and running in five years vs decades for other more complicated systems. Click on Marc's name above for more details or click "here" for a look at the proposed routes.

Playdate at Tudor Place

For our birthdays, my wife and I try to find some hidden gems in Washington or surrounding areas to visit. Since it was her birthday this time I got to choose and picked "Tudor Place" in Georgetown for our visit. Built just after the turn of the 19 century by a granddaughter of Martha Washington, the house and grounds are quite impressive to see and well worth the trip. Go on a weekday and you are almost guaranteed a private tour. The tour takes about an hour. I tried but could not get them to let me go up into the attic. It was well worth an afternoon visit and there was plenty of parking on the street around the mansion entrance.

Next time I am going call ahead and work out a look see into the attic.....

Best Silver Spring Car Wash

Ok, so it is actually in Langley Park. However the New Hampshire Ave Car Was near the corners of New Hampshire and University Blvd is the only place to go. Price is reasonable and no other car wash takes care of your ride like they do. After your car gets the wash treatment, an individual worker takes your car over for a complete wipe down. Inside and out, seats, dash and windows. I have yet to see another car wash do a job like they do.

If you are going on the weekend get there early and take the paper (book, gameboy-whatever) as you are going to wait. The lines can get long and they take their time when wiping down your car after the wash. (Quality does not come quick). Best time to go is on a weekday morning as the lines are smaller but you still could be there for half an hour.

Take my word, it is worth it.

Live Nation and the Fillmore

Well, I am sort of, kind of excited about live music coming to Silver Spring. If you read the article about the coming of the Fillmore it just sounds too good to be true. However, I am worried that it is too large and the tickets are going to be too expensive. They say it will make money but I doubt that it will and we taxpayers will boot the bill. Still, I know some good music is going to be there and that can't be all bad, can it?

Montgomery County's Fiscal Woes. Part 1

Well, the county is pretty much out of money. They are looking for ways to raise revenues but the issue becomes where and how to squeeze the public without the public screaming and kicking back. The problem is that there is no way that they can raise property taxes. Already having sucked that cow dry when times were good they are now in a pickle as to where to turn. The solution seems to raise fees. Everywhere you look fees are going up. Parking, tickets, licensing fees, recordation fees, library fees and death fees. Not only is this happening in our county but everywhere. National, state and local governments used to feeding off property taxes have turned to increased fees to cover the shortfall. And I ask you who is not feeling these costs.

The big issue to me is how do they expect for any sort of recovery to occur if they are slamming consumers with burdensome fee hikes. I did not have a bad year this past year but am feeling the pinch of higher fees so both my wife and I don't feel like we can spend any money. I can't see how all of these fee hikes are going to do much for our household income. So nobody feels any wealthier and nobody feels like spending money. And getting people to spend money is how you dig yourself out of a recession.

This seems to happen every time we have a downturn. I wonder why the hell can't our elected officials figure this out when the economy is booming and set aside reserves for the slow times. I suppose it is just human nature and the way our system works. When we have it, we spend it all and then when we don't have it we fly into a panic. The public then suffers because there are few options to getting lost revenue unless they squeeze the cow a bit more.

Silver Spring Market

Yes, it cold out, but you can look forward to getting your fresh farm produce and other assorted goodies from the Silver Spring Farmers Market, a regular Saturday feature these past few years. Only problem is that it only runs from April to December so you will have to wait a few months. However, it is well worth the wait and now is the time to put the market on your calendar.